Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Illumina- a post written a long time back

"Aap ko pata hai..mera naam Mangal Pandey kyu hai?"
"Nahi pata" Mai batata hu...

"Mere Pitaji ko koi santaan nahi thee... Phir unhone Mangal Deep Dhoop jala ker Shivji kee pooja karee...Uske khushboo se Shivji prasanna hue aur unhe mujh jaise veer santaan ke prapti hui." "

"Iseliye unhone mera naam Mangal rakha."
For those of you who are wondering what it is... These were my lines as Mangal Pandey in a play. I was enjoying my life watching Prison Break and Heroes but suddenly i got this chance to play Mangal Pandey in one of the Disguised Market Research for ITC - Mangal Deep Dhoop organised by our club Illumina.

The idea is to get a pre launch feedback on a product from cutomers without making them fill forms and getting responsed by involving them in a play kind of situation.

Our was a play based on Ramayana and Mangal Pandey story and since the target base was rural, the event was held in a narby village Pataudi where a huge Raamlila takes place every year. It was a different experience to say the least.

We reached the Mela ground first thing in the morning only to realise that the Mela starts from 2 in the afternoon. Not wasting any time we decided to get out act together.

Yes, we did what we have become so profficient at- We slept under the scanty shade of a tree with newspaper on our faces to prevent the sun from disturbing. Thats what MBA teaches you- to sleep in the most unimaginable circumstances.

After getting some sleep we decided to explore some surroundings and found some thing to fool around.
An amazing experience began as the crowd began to settle in the ground. Hundreds of people flocked to our stall. We were over whelmed by the response.
Children went crazy , people were intrigued to find a bunch of college dudes in their terrain. We were house full. An incident which i will never forget is when an elderly person tried to touch my feet and said " Apki vajah se hee hume azaadi mili hai".
Mangal Pandey was certainly a legend.
I returned home exhausted, exhilirated and emotional.
PS If you managed to click the link, i tell you a miraculous coincidence. Mangal Pandey has the same birth date as me, 19 July!

Saturday, August 04, 2007

What is in the air?

A few days back there was a intranet mail going on where people just had to pick up random or not so random guys and girls, connect them and write a matrimonial or something... Also there was a "Love is in the air" mail which tried to officially coordinate the interaction between interested parties(ohh... the MBA jargon)

All this made me remember the good old college days when I used to plan up ways to propose a girl but hold myself back when some friends of mine(blessed with better personalities) used to come back defeated.

"Who do you think you are ?"

"Are you out of your mind ?"

"We can be just friends, nothing more."

All these were the normal responses they used to get and many would lose nights of sleep to get over the worst failure of their lives.

So i never gathered enough courage to propose any girl... I had made a last desperate but subtle attempt some time back when i published my matrimonial in my blog... I cant resist to share some parts of that post.


I will write my MatrimoniaL Ad and since i can't afford a 2 inch space in "Punjaab Kesari"(i have a soft corner for Punjabi Kudees you know) i will post it here only.Girls please read it carefully though i would appreciate if someone could save herself the trouble of reading the enire stuff and contact me right away.

~ ~ My Matrimonial ~ ~
WANTED: Tall/Short, Fair(Gori)/Dark(Kaali), Sweet/Sour, Homely/Officly infact any type of girl whose fetaures are better than Kishan Kumar(of 'Papa the Great' Fame) will be accepted as suitable alliance. Age/Caste/Weight/Height/Proffesion/Salary are no bar at all. The girl should be either Maangalik or Non-Maangalik. Widows have added advantage. Girls who smoke and drink have already cleared the first round. Girls who can use pure marwari gaalis have a wild-card-entry and need to contact asap (Bio-Data not required).Also the girl should be tolerant to some of my peculiar habits like once-a-week bath and once-a-month shave. I also can't control the urge to scratch sweaty and itchy body parts and belch after every meal.

I am not looking for any girl-friendship and this notion got reinforced by a party i attended last night...With 8 glasses of beer down and 2 hours of watching couples dance, I began thinking...

"Is this what fun is all about?" Now i agree i do get a bit philosophical when i am drunk but it was not the case this time...People losing themselves and enjoying the feeling that they can touch any girl which might not have been possible unless she was not in her senses...

I started feeling a strong feeling of estrangment and i took a small walk out of the disco. I was beginning to feel uneasy because of the way the air smelt in there. Is this the reason guys and girls become friends? I dont think so... I thought about what response i would get if i told everyone what i felt.

Who are you to give a lecture on moral decadence? Its by choice and not force... Why should you be bothered about it? You are just lamenting because you didn't have a chance to be with a girl?

Yes, why should i be bothered...I thought.

"One more beer please"... I said to the bar tender.

Monday, July 23, 2007

Main kya roj takiye per bethta hu?

Now i can understand what Saif Ali Khan meant when he said these words in DCH.

To understand this statment one requires to undergo something extraordinary. In my case, I was 3 feet above the ground with four people holding each limb of mine. Around 10 guys were looking at me all ready to do their "thing" at 12 in the night.

This might seem like perfect setting for a gang bang but it was actually my b'day(19th July). Now you must have heard about strange tribal traditions like naked aboriginal canoeists ploughing through a crocodile-infested swamp on a quest to find goose eggs which will miraculously cure their impotency, but wait till you hear this one.

Here if its your B'day, your roomie invites the entire batch to 'celebrate' your B'day on hostel roof top. The good stuff ends here. Now as the clock strikes twelve, people start their "thing" i mentioned in the beginning. People with thier boots on, start kicking your behind with such ferocity that would put even descendandts of Genghis Khan to shame. The assault continues for 5 mins by students who dont even know you (they just get a 'kick' out of it) and some of whom would have scored miserably low in the morning quiz.

You are left with a pain in the ass, cursing the day you were born. But there's some consolation as your roomie gets the same treatment and any other random guy who gets caught. The tradition of adorning a cake on your face happens and then you are left to attend calls from friends and family.

I slept on my stomach that night. The next morning in class it was impossible to sit on iron-chairs we have. You must have heard of people getting a blue eye, you can imagine where i had my blues...

Well all that is over now... Things are getting normal now...There was an apt dialogue in Rocky Balboa which made me realize there is even a philosophical side to all this kicking:
"But it ain't how hard you hit; it's about how hard you can get hit, and keep moving forward."

So I have moved forward and started enjoying classes. There is lot of learning invloved especially about movie trivia.

At the beginning of class we pick up any movie and ask trivia questions realted to that movie. For eg
1. What was the name of Saif Ali's first girlfriend in DCH?
2. What was name of Salman's father in Andaz apna apna?
3. Name of Madhavan in RDB?
Currently we are thinking about Karan Johar's name in DDLJ. We dont google out the answers we simply watch the movie all over again.

You can't even imagine how quickly the 1.5 hour class passes when you don't remember the answer although you might have seen the movie umpteen number of times. It creates a sort of virtual mosquito around you which keeps on irritating you as you try to squash it but it keeps getting away. The feeling after squashing it is equally rewarding.

Meanwhile life continues as usual with more quizzes, more movies and people spending 15 lakhs to get a phone number.

Sunday, July 15, 2007

Man !! Its raining...

I am "two cold-call quizzes" old in MDI and now i realise why people remember their college life so fondly. And It's not because of the quizzes. Its because of the hostel life(I was a day scholar in graduation) and the fun that is inherent part of it.

The hostel never sleeps. You will find students roaming in the campus with their cell phones tucked between thier ears and neck,talking ever so discreetly. Some times i wonder if they are really talking or doing mobileneckriyasan(a dying art of strengthening your cervical).

People will stalk all night eateries and cafe to satiate the hunger which is natural to follow after a Hostel mess dinner. Some will go out to get some clean air and then come back after having a "Ultra Milds". Some will have coffee to keep them awake for they might have an assignment to complete or a movie to watch.

Some will play badminton or table tennis till morning for they might have a easy class where they can catch up with a trivial thing called sleep. Couples will shift from where they were sitting so as to avoid becoming overtly conspicuous or just because their asses might be getting numb. Next time I will ask one to be sure.

People will hurdle up in one room and just plain talk and sing songs or discuss obvious mistakes which President Bush made during his tenure. "I dont understand how he got elected at the first place, I wouldn't have given him bloody quater of a vote". Serious, personal remarks like this will come but all this is understandable as the guy might have had a Quater before he reached this conclusion.

The fun quotient will double up, if a guy knows how to play a guitar, somebody will start singing someone will tap foot and an inpromptu hostel version of any song will follow. The Mehfil will end wil people returning and asking each other if something had to be done for the next day. Nobody knows exactly what has to be read so the logical conclusion is to sleep in whatever time that is left.

Thats just the Beginning of Hostel Life and i am Living it, Loving it.

PS: If you are wondering about the relevance of the posts title its just because of the natural low pressure area that would have been created owing to the immense heat that was there for some time. Also i remembered Geri Halliwell's song but i think its "Its raining man..." Anyways it makes no sense either ways.

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

To Change or not to Change

It has been barely three weeks here at MDI and already i can sense a sea change in my academic life.

First thing that i have discovered is the library. Earlier the word Library created a scene of nerdy bespectacled students furiously scribbling away notes in their registers from a 1000 page-hard bound book. Another image was of 'duniya ke sataaye' couples who would find a corner and some respite to look at each other and maybe get a chance to hold hands if no one was there. Couples doodling away in each other's notebook was my guess of Why people go to Library. But now all that has changed...

Library is a place where you can go and sit comfortably and sip coffee in air conditioning and may be doze off for some time... Now that i am aware of the true purpose of Library, i visit there often and enjoy the peaceful ambience. (Guys i think i had u for a momemt...Trust me i have not damaged the medulla oblongata and the mitochondria of my brain cells are working just fine. I wont even dream of studying...)

Talking of Couples, a few days ago, there was a news that some couples were shooed away by police at India Gate Gardens. Now i am not against PDA but there has to be a place where you can indulge in such activities. India gate is a place where you show respect to the Amar Jawans and i dont think they would be too happpy to see couples pressing against each other.I felt a
tinge of disappointment...

Before all you liberated and broad minded people start accusing me of being a typical jealous retro guy(which i am ) read on.
The very next day there again a photo of a group of young people saluting the Jawans with genuine look of respect and pride for our country.

All i mean is there are parks, restraunts, hotels where you can do whatever you feel.

Secondly is of Attendance in classes. To put it simply in Engg there was only one chance of going to Class and that was when you found no one in canteen to sit with and your whole group had decided to go to class for lack of any topic of discussion. Here it will take a lion's heart to miss any class as it has a direct implication on your grades. Moreover there is something known as "pre-reads" where you have to go prepared for your class. You can compare the pain to watching "Aap ka Saroor" twice. Nothing more needs to be said i guess.

Thirdly the atmosphere here is quite forward and people have a broader outlook. Girls will wizz past you in mini skirts and shorts and nobody even looks at them twice. Now imagine what would have happened in our college had any girl even dreamd of such clothing. If you are little more observant you can also see strategically placed tattoos, the kind you would have seen only in educative movies.

But Somethings never change Even here i can find Girls who talk with a grammar of their own. A typical sentence from them would sound as:: "I was like half asleep in the class, as in my eyes were closing totally...actually i was studying till 3 in morning you know". What she means is that she was undergoing the natural biological response to tiring. "I was sleepy." This would have been enough.

Some Boys will hit it off with girls from first day and others like me will remain with guys and ponder as to why Girls avoid us.? Expalining this would take an entire dedicated post.

Lastly the only serious difference is:The system here forces you to think and actually understand and apply what you have learned. This is a tough thing to do as you are doing it for the first time. Switching from Rote to true learning is the only differnce.

Saturday, July 07, 2007


First of all let me tell you the reasons why i was not writing my blog

1. The milkman's buffalo was absconding and i was appointed as special officer on deputation to find the wherabouts of Basanti...(not Hema Malini thats the name of the Buffalo) She was found in compromising positions with the Male Buffalo of Kishan (the other MilkMan). They were put under arrest for public display of indecency.

This makes me remember a piece of news where a Woman roamed around in her undergarments to protest against her in-laws. Its a matter of utmost shame for us Indians where a woman had to shed off her clothes to make her voice heard. And on top of that she was even put under arrest.

Any ways Basanti was not protesting against anyone she was just undergoing some harmonal changes.

2. My mother had read the post where i had written my matrimonial and she had come under emotional turmoil. She was (alas) the only female who took the matrimonial thing seriously. She had made me swear on the holy mother of God that i will not write any such thing on mu blog.

3. I had caught a strange disease where i could not figure out the letters on the key board. This disease had made me miss out on loads of chat on gmail and scraps on orkut not to mention no blogging for a long time. The disease had a even stranger cure. I had to insert my fingers in soft dough and keep it inside for 10 minutes. Thank God I am cured now. Fingering all that dough has made me mentally sick though.

The reasons could go on and on...

But let me tell you the real reason now... Rediff Blog SUCKS big time..
Every time i had some thing to write about the darn rediff interface would change.I got to my nerves and somehow i would loose my train of thoughts and give up.

It irritated me even more to find out that sometimes the font size would change, Sometime the side bar would go, sometime the comments would evaporate.

I was hooked on to it for sometime and tried to rectify it a lot. thatsvipul was like first crush for me. I was hopelessly attached to it...

However i have migrated to Blogger now.

I hope i have found true love this time. Hope to see all of you guys here now.