Saturday, June 27, 2009

Thus Life

Inevitable results
Unsolicited effects
Cosmological Conspiracy
Disproportionate losses in a zero sum game
Beguiling fruits of Karma

Caught in the strife
Such Life

Patiently smile
Connect the dots
scattered and sprinkled
forming a perfect picture
With certainity of existence
and miracle of probable

Ever unfolding
Thus Life

Wednesday, June 24, 2009


Shiva, the destroyer God, of Holy Hindu Trinity; Epimenidus, greek poet, philosopher, widely known for creating the simplest paradox and Mother Teresa, epitome of compassion, winner of Nobel Peace prize and the Bharat Ratna met at the pious but chilly setting of Mount Kailasa.

Epimenidus- All Cretans are liars.
Shiva- I should have destroyed Greece,when I had the chance, then there would be no more Cretans and therefore no liars.
Mother(to Shiva)- I don't understand why you do it?
Shiva- Your olfactory sense is commendable mother. Addiction is also a means of destruction, part of my job.Besides,we are talking about genuine Himalayan stuff here. People will pay hefty amounts in future to get their hands on such qualtiy.
Mother- What are you talking about?
Shiva- You know, sometimes my bull, Nandi , chews a few leaves and acts all weird.Quite a handful that Nandi , I tell you.
Mother- You are talking about Marijuana.
Shiva- Mother, will all due respects, how do you propose do rehabilitate all those addicts, when you don't even know what I am talking about.
Epimenidus- Even I love stuff, and I am not lying this time.
Shiva- Still, I would like to destroy Greece, if only I could go back in time.Well, time can come back to me.
Mother- That's what I was talking about. I don't understand why you destroy all the time.
Shiva- Oh that... I do it for you mother.
Mother- For me, Oh please, I already have so much to heal and cure. I think it will keep me occupied for a long time.
Epimenidus-How interesting... An infinite regressive loop, but still not enough to make a paradox.
Shiva- Aren't you afraid of my wrath?

Mother(to Shiva)- You stand between me and world peace.
Shiva- World Peace... such cliche.
Mother- No seriously, Have you ever thought about an utterly peaceful world.
Shiva- You know, as a matter of fact, I have, but there's only so much stuff in the Himalayas.
Epimenidus- How interesting...The destroyer thinking of peace, a contradiction, but still not enough for a paradox.
Shiva- The serpent around my neck is so poisonous it can kill with as much as a hiss.
Mother- Oh stop talking about killing.
Shiva- But you have to understand, without me you would have nothing to do. I suggest we cut half your body and join it with one half of mine, just to clear the confusion.
Mother- Are you out of your mind. All this dope is killing your brain cells.
Shiva- Trust me mother, I have done it many times, with my wife Gauri. God, its tough convincing a woman.
Epimenidus- How interesting...You would become a man and a woman. You could come visit Greece then, such confused sexuality is in vogue there.
Shiva- How naive of you to make such an uninformed remark, for my penis is the ultimate symbol of masculanity. People, especially girls, will worship my penis. I am the man every girl seeks.
Epimenidus- How interesting... But self referencing is still not enough.
Mother- Ok, I am ready to try,since you so insist. I believe in God after all.
Mother:Shiva- Its so much clear, now that I am a part of you.
Shiva:Mother- I destroy to create
Epimenidus- Perfect,All Cretans are indeed liars.
Mother:Shiva- Can we separate now, I can't stand your body odour, quite frankly.S
hiva:Mother- But I apply my special talc, consisting of human ash, every midnight, without fail.
Mother:Shiva- Eew!

Mother- I feel so much better.
Epimenidus- How interesting...Me too.
Shiva- I would like to grant both of you a boon. You see, I am real easy to please. It's one of my weaknesses.
Epimenidus- How interesting...The perfect one, having a weakness.
Mother- Shut up Epimenidus, you say "How interesting..." one more time and I will give you a tight slap.
Mother- Oops! May peace prevail everywhere.

Mother- I want the Nobel Peace Prize
Shiva- Granted. But just to ensure you don't forget me, I will ask Nobel to make a terrible chemical for mass destruction. Explosives happen to be my area of expertise.
Epimenidus- I am not a Hindu.So, I don't want anything from you, and don't you forget, I am liar.
Shiva- I like your sense of humor. So I grant you a special gift. In you lies the key to consciousness.
Epimenidus- How interesting...
Mother- "Of free choice, my God, and out of love for you, I desire to remain and do whatever be your Holy will in my regard."
Shiva- So long, off I go to my dance class.

Saturday, June 20, 2009

Rangeelo Rajkot

Dos and Don'ts
1. Forget two square meals a day when you can snack varities (albiet fart inducing) like, Fafda with green chillies and Jalebi, Gathiyas, Dabeli, Ghoogras, Bhajiyas et al.

2. Strictly no business from 1 pm to 4 pm. Shutters down , Mobile switched off, go home and doze off after a lunch consisting of Sev- Tamatar sabzi and Chaas (buttermilk)

3. After 11 pm , get on your scooter, bike, car, auto, legs, anything; along with your wife, girlfriend, friend, neighbour, aunty, or alone to spend a quality time and of course,have a before bed snack.

4. Stop anywhere and land up at a paan stop. Eat a "phaanki" (a mix of supari, tabbaco, choona) after proper churning with hands. Caution- Don't try to speak, as the red peek overflows from your mouth, so spit it instead, anywhere, obviously.

5. Try 'Sosya' -a chemical beverage with an intriguing name- Sosya

6. Visit the Shamshan- Its the only tourist attraction, scary but true.

7. Drive ignoring all else on the road. And if you happen to bump into someone, smile and say 'Kaim Chho'. Many a great friendships, begin this way.

8.Visit the Swami Narayan temple at evening.

9. Don't visit the race-course or the cricket ground , if you are single. Gujju couples in intimate positions is an extremely disturbing sight.

10. Try the ice cream shakes at Patel ice cream. Avoid the special cabins made for couples on the second floor.

11. Try the cool - Rabdi Chuski, a delicious mixture of crushed ice, black current as artificial flavour, dry fruits and generous rabri topping.

12. Drink the Kathiawadi Chai. 3 Rs for half a cup of ecstacy.

13. Find a "Boss Cold Drink" shop. Decide what to drink when you find it.

14. Drink packaged mineral water branded as Pyaas, only for Rs. 1

15. Learn Gujarati, its sweet.

Sunday, June 14, 2009

I remember

Perennial smiles, Hysterical laughs
Deep conversations, Frivolous gossips
Moving moments, Wasted times
Pulling leg, True friends of mine

Pending assignments, Low scoring sheets
Spilling wine, Talking cheap
Empty cans ,pretty bottles
Matchsticks scanty, Cigarettes plenty

Unusual hours, Wide open eyes
Raving apetite, Cookies to eat
Midnight snacks, Early morning tea
Burning happiness, Peaceful sleep

Ecstasic yawns, Concentration faulty
Indiscrete clicks, Trip to Dhanaulti
No words exchanged, Listening to Floyd
Miniscule tension, Magninficient joy

Robbing me of today and its susepnse
The past lurks around the fence