Tuesday, February 02, 2010

Yaaro kee Shaadiyan

It is that auspicious time of the year, when all your friends are tieing the knot and shamelessly posting their engagement,wedding, honeymoon photos in albums named "My Wedding" ,"Second Innings", "My Big fat Wedding","Finally- Honeymooned","Shit Happens" on facebook. And to top it off, an innocent status msg of "Pics Uploaded :)"

At such strategic "infliction" points, your presence might be cordially invited and if you have that special bond of sharing towel/undergarments/bed with your friend, you would most definitely love to go and watch him suffer for the rest of his life.

But here are a few words of caution-

Avoid anatomy/gravity/species defying dance steps (especially the naagin dance that combines all three) in baraat.The body ache will last for 2 days and remember there is this guy following your every move and making a video of it.

Say no to Unclejis who are forcing you to gulp down neat Blenders Pride even if they are carrying a lifafa of 100 rs.

Keep to yourself any lewd thoughts that might be dying to manifest on sight of makeup clad females. They might be fat and their dress might be skimpy but remember they are all Auntys or their daughters. But there is a catch, if you act too decently you might be mistaken for a potential Dulha on sale and don't all auntys love sale.So try to behave indecently with your eyes.

Eating obscene amount of fatty food and sweets is pleasurable only to the tongue in the entire digestive system. Rest of the organs specifically the end part of the large intestine are greatly troubled.

Wedding gift is probably the last time and maybe the first time you will be gifting anything of some worth to your friend. So avoid giving dinner sets, suitcases, mixers and invest your time in looking for a gift.

In case you fnd that your friends who used to call you up for issues as grave as "yaar, life mai enthu nahi aa raha hai", "yaar woh mera phone nahi utha rahi hai" at weird times have stopped calling and their phones are switched off sometimes from as early as 8 in the night, Laugh on the fools and forget them for their relationship status on Orkut has also changed to Committed.


Anonymous said...

Kadwa Sach..
Gaurav M

TinTin said...

naagin dance is not for marriage.. sahi pakda

Varun said...

bhai wud love to c d video of that gravity defying naagin dance :)

Kunal said...

which you have performed at my marriage ... :)

Vipul Goyal said...

@Gaurav M- Shit Happens
@Tin Tin- Naagin dance shud be used with caution
@Varun - Even i would :)
@Kunal- I hope u have no recordings of that. :)

Piyush said...

"Pics uploaded"...hahaha !!

ankit said...

So did u become the dulha on sale??

Vipul Goyal said...

@ankit- No...I was conspicously indecent :)